The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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A man buys a prius

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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what is the color of a burp burple

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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What do you get when you don't wear protection? A baby.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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