A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

What do you get if you cross a man and a horse? Severe internal bleeding.

What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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