how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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A horse walks into a barn.

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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#Hanging Degus

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Justin Bieber

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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