where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

Why did the dog eat poop?

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

Rick Santorum 2012

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...