what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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You have friends

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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Your future.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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What is full of water and drowning people A pool

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops