Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber with a chicken? Most likely some kind of singing human-chicken monster, although given the little research done on cross-species splicing, this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops