Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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what is a bike without wheels? not a bike.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Bob Saget

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Why didn't the black man eat a packet of crisps? Because he didn't have any.

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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homework

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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