There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

Why doed Dorris suffer from incontinence? A weiner dog punctured her bladder.

why was the blonde fired from the factory? she ate the maneger's fingers.

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

Has u seen my grammar?

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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