How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Knock, Knock ...

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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kcuf read it backwards

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The chicken crossed the road.

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Your Mother

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops