Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I have suicidal thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +12

kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops