What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Q: How did the black man cross the Atlantic? A: He flew with an airliner, a large fixed-wing aircraft for transporting passengers and cargo.

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Hey, have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. Neither has he.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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