what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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