What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Grace Ackerson

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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