Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops