What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

Do you play piano? No

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

A blonde dies Lololol

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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