I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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