How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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