What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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