Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What should you do if reading the antijokes on this site makes you collapse with laughter? There is no need to worry about this because it won't happen.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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A blonde walks into an electronic store...she buys an IPhone because someone stole her blackberry, her money, and everything she cares for. Nah, I'm just kiddin', she was murdered.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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