how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

Ross.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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