Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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