How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

i'm hard

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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