How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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