What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

Womens rights

Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

The child was fired from his job.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Want to hear a joke? No.

Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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