What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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