while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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