Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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