What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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