What did John name his dog? Doggy

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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A dancer walks into a barre

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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