I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops