A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

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minorities.....

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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bangers and mash?

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and can drive a woman crazy? Money

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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