Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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