Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

So a bar walks into a man...

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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