Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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