Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Suck pussy

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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A jew was walking down the street what did he see? the holocaust

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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