Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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