Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops