how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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