What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

How do you end a sentence

why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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