If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Coldpaly is a good band

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops