roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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