What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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