A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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silver bullet?

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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