What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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no

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Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Dyslexia ruels!

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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:O <===============3 :===========3 :======3 :===3 :3 It all makes sense now.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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