Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Where's my baby??

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops