a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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