Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

I like the color potato.

why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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