How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Female Orgasms

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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say it ten times fast: oh

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops