Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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