What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +15

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

All of these jokes are about white people

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops