A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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