Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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This is an anti-joke.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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