A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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