Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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