Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops