How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops