Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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