what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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