Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

what this: b a dead one of these: p

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

Mom says my name I reply Coming.

What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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