A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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call me maybe.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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