What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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All of these jokes are about white people

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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