What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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