mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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the comment about daniel was fron brock

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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pull my finger (farts)

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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