What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is the sky blue? You like men.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops