How did Bella fly? Very badly.

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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