So a baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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