A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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