I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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