How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

sadf

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -24

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops