Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Once upon a time a was born

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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