Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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Donald Trump

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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