How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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