Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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