Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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I am a mime

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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