What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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