roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops