My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Your big dick.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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