Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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i saw amango it splootered

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops