What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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