Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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