Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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