Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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