Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops