Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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