teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Knock Knock Come in

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Please ignore this statement.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops