One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

What do you call a black man on the moon - A Problem What do you call 5 black men on the moon - A Bigger Problem What do you call every black person on the moon - Problem Solved!

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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