if you are reading this your wasting your time

Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

Knock Knock. Doors open

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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