Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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I am a mime

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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I'm so punny.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Guess what What

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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