How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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someone called someone else a frog

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Guys holocaust jokes aren't funny Anne-Frankly, I do nazi the point in them.

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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