What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops