Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops