Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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