A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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