I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this duck and it makes me wana quack like what the f**k is THAT!

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she was a very poor worker.

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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