Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

What's red and can sing? Elmo

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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