Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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