What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

You're tearing apart, Lisa!

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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