Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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i hate non minorities!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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