A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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Ily bae

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops