What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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