What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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