A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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Why do bitches love cheese toast? 'Cuz bitches love cheese toast

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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And then Jesus turned the water into wine. Some did not approve of this miracle "masta, whut is da reezon you did aint make this into tha coolaid? Bible files: Directors cut.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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