Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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