what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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