What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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What did the cool guy say to Kelly Clarkson? Nothing, she's fat.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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What's worse...a thousand dead babies in one joke...or one dead baby in a thousand jokes?

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Women's professional sports

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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